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They missed the point
(by Walt Brown - September 03, 2008)
Over the last couple of decades, I’ve found myself more given to “thanking the Lord” for things that happened to or around me; things that would have been taken for granted when I was in the “It’s all about me, the teenager,” generation.
August began and ended with essentially the same mantra. Aug. 3: “Thank the Lord, football is back.” It had been exactly six months since the Giants stunned the world, and the Colts and the Redskins were a great pre-season kickoff game.
August ended the same way: “Thank the Lord these horrific “exhibition” games are over.”
My point is, they missed their point(s). The “exhibition” season seems to be more about turnstyle dollars, perhaps to pay for the hapless rookies that play the lion’s share of the game but will be watching from home in September. “Exhibition” is the perfect word – you get to see the marquee names briefly (except L.T. on San Diego, who is forever protected against exhibition injuries), and then you watch a gaggle of nobodies who will disappear from the radar more quickly than Gary Powers’ U-2 aircraft.
Everyone watching the games knows they are meaningless. You can lose all four or five, and still start September with an unblemished 0-0 record. But somehow, the “everyone watching” group totally excludes the coaching staffs.
The coaches have four or five games to try new things, sharpen certain necessities, and give those scouts who watch the game films a whole lot more to worry about.
Yet they avoid such possibilities as if they contained plague bacillus, and therein, they literally “miss the point.” For anyone who watches football, it is axiomatic that a team down by 10 or more points late in the game has two major concerns on their agenda. One is the possible two-point conversion, and the other is the onside kick.
But I watched 19 different teams play, and I saw only one onside kick and no attempts at two point conversions. Sure, an onside kick can backfire, giving the receiving team good field position. Who cares? The game doesn’t count! But it would be a great time to practice onside kicks, and worst case, it would give the defense some practice with their backs to the wall.
The two-point conversion is an equally absent necessity. There is no fathomable reason for the kicker to need to practice making those chip-shots, although some teams even carry an extra kicker, so that the poor overworked fellow who will kick during the season doesn’t tire in August (while collecting hefty pay). Save the kicker and go for the two points every time. Have a dozen different plays to try so that other teams will not know what to defend against when you do the same thing in the regular season.
But it doesn’t happen, and in the regular season, when they “go for two” it is frequently the heavily-padded Keystone Cops, and it fails, costing them the win.
I don’t get involved in fantasy football (except to fantasize that I could afford one ticket to one game), but I am a devotee of the game and I would love to referee local games – seems like a lot of fun.
If, however, I’m on the sidelines doing the play calling, I would kick onside at least half the time, for practice and to keep teams aware all season that it’s a possibility, which would keep the front row of lineman honest. I would go for the two points after the touchdown every time. I would not attempt a field goal of less than 45 yards (the kickers need to practice THOSE in a game situation; a 28-yarder is routine regardless of what the calendar says), and instead, on fourth and whatever, I’d go for it. Because that, too, happens when a team is trailing. “Fourth and 14” and the game is on the line, and once again, the Keystone Cops arrive and the game is cast to the winds.
I’d also show some trick plays. They would be fun for the players in those drudgery practice sessions, and they would drive other teams’ scouts crazy. And a couple might even succeed. Show the other teams everything you have got in the playbook, because they can never prepare for all of it. But if you simply practice your hum-drum offense, safely, they’ll eat your lunch every time.
Run two-minute, no-huddle drills in each quarter, regardless of whether it is the regular quarterback in the game, or Bozo the clipboard clown.
And thank the Lord I don’t have to say this in person to Tom “Mr. Warmth” Coughlin, as he is known to have a wide-ranging vocabulary in dissent.
I love the summer, but thank the Lord, football-wise, for September.
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